my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
What a dumb baby whore.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
