I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
they're like a gay fantastic four
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
