I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Fuck appropriateness.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
