SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
pray to the hookup gods
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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