you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
