it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
