Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Randomize
