My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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