The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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