It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
