i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
