Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
