I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
