it hurts more in the daytime
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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