it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
