We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Randomize
