When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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