I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Randomize
