Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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