I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
You're like the curious george of whores
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
