i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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