So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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