K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
