Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize
