new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
