I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
