it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
