omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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