hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
