i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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