i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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