yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
