she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
