This is not my ceiling
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
