He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
