how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
