I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
