In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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