if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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