yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
