Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
