He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
