If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
