you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
