Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
