you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
