How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Randomize
