Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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