I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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