At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
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