Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
