I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
