Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
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