And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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